i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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