something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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