Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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