Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
