Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize