im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
