Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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