and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize