I'm so fucking centered right now
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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