im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
