I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
