So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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