Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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