need another drink. this is the easiest way
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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