I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize