will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
