with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
