Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
