I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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