All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
