And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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