Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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