I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
