He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
