Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Someone came in the potted fern
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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