He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
