Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You dont lie about slip and slides
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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