And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
