Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
