What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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