does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
