The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
