marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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