i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
