dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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