i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
