Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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