dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please