Only a mothe r could love this liver
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
