New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
