Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Small penises have feelings too.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
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Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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