I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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