You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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