Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
