I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Randomize
