There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
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The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
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The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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