I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
