Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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