you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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