I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
