Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
