I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
