Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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