In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
