My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Did I show you my penis last night?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Randomize
