dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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