i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
