so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize