either way he was missing a nipple.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
