i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize