If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
