btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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