just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
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