I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
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No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
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Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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